For the Family of Someone with Adult ADD/ADHD

It can be difficult and frustrating to live with someone who has adult attention deficit disorder (ADD) or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). Sometimes their actions can be confusing. You can’t figure out why they can’t remember to do the simplest things, while they can spend hours on an activity that captures their interest. They may be extremely sensitive to criticism, but not think twice about some of the things that they say to others. You might think, if only they would try harder, they could be so different. The truth is that ADD and ADHD are real medical conditions that require treatment and a structured environment. No matter how hard they try, they may need help learning new coping techniques and strategies.

If you care about someone with ADD or ADHD, educate yourself. It will help you to understand why they act in certain ways. You may also learn a few approaches that will make interactions easier for both of you. Once you understand how difficult it can be for them, you’ll be more willing to give them a break once in awhile if things become too hard and they backslide.

Many therapists are willing to meet with the family as well as the ADD or ADHD patient. They may suggest a group meeting or meet with you individually. Once they get to know their patient, they’ll have some good ideas about how the home environment can be changed to reduce stress and provide a more structured environment.

Don’t be overly critical of your loved one with ADD or ADHD. Be gently supportive and allow them to keep trying until they succeed. If you need them to do something for you, make sure that you give them clear directions and break it down into smaller tasks that can be accomplished in a relatively short time. Try not to appear frustrated when they come back and ask the same question a few times. Keep in mind that something that is simple for you, can be extremely complicated for them.